Can you feel it?
The grasping… The clawing…
The gnawing murmur that we are meant for more?
“Is this it?” whispers the inky morning when I reluctantly leave my warm cocoon.
I find the discontent grumbling most frequent in the winter.
When my body wants to rest like the sun, but my mortgage demands that I order a double shot and endure the abrasive hum of fluorescent lights for eight hours.
The trees are asleep. The insects have burrowed. Why am I awake before the sun?
Is this it?
Will I always have to move against what I feel is right for my body and soul in order to meet the hungry demands of capitalism?
I tell the kids yes it's uncomfortable, yes it sucks, and yes it gets worse from here. They reject this notion with uncertain wisdom.
I agree and return to the question: is this it?
Quarantine marked a pivotal reset. What started with anxiety and unfamiliarity in staying at and working from home settled into comfort, ease, and a natural rhythm. I found sanctuary in solitude. Intentionally moving from a house of six to a home of two. Peace confirmed my decisions.
Left alone to our devices, the world was simultaneously granted a reset. We had been sent to a room to think about what we had done and emerged determined to live a more meaningful life. Status gleaned by hustling and keeping up with the Joneses were no longer the goals. Climbing the ladder and embracing the grind no longer inspired growth. The hustle was replaced with baking bread. The grind was replaced with gardening. The anxiety was managed with bike riding and at home yoga instead of the endless pursuit for burnout.
We were so close to freedom. The fire was lit under us. We had the time, the energy, the organization, the structure, the technology to make the changes that we all craved.
And then we were told to go back to the office. Schools reopened, inflation skyrocketed, the housing market went into deep crisis mode and now we’re back where we started- struggling once again to meet our basic needs. Unable to devote the time, attention, and money to radical changes.
As leaders grappled with response techniques, ethical shortcomings were exposed at the expense of human lives. Citizens awoke and realized that they were simply pawns on a chessboard. Irrelevant to people beyond their quarantined walls. Expendable lemmings to corporate overlords.
We were so close.
Four years later, we’re poor, tired, exhausted, bitter, burned out, and angry.
The question murmurs: is this it?